What's on my mind: (4/26/98)

Interview with Eunice Lee

This interview was for the Word, our church newsletter. I am Word in the interview

Word - Are you searching?
Eunice - No.

Word - Well what are you looking for in a husband?
Eunice - I don't have like a list of characteristics, personality types, and height requirements. A husband to me is a partner in ministry (which does not mean I want to marry a pastor) so I guess what I'm looking for is a person I can trust to lead me in the best life I can lead for Christ. Basically that's it. I don't know how I'm going to know who that is, but his love for God is going have to inspire me to pursue deeper intimacy for God.

Word - Come on, no height requirement at all?
Eunice - Taller than me. Jimmy Ahn said, I curse you with marrying someone 4'10". I guess that's how I'll know he's the one.

Word - Why no interest in guys?
Eunice - My brother's theory is because my family is male dominated - I'm the only girl of all my cousins - and I have good relationships with all these guys in my extended family, I've been saturated with male attention all my life and have no need for other, but I don't know if that's true.

Word - How is Virginia different from here?
Eunice - It's a lot more green in Virginia. I was really surprised coming to California, because when I first came to school was my first time in California ever, and everything was so brown and dry. In terms of people, I think girls in Virginia are a lot more quiet, submissive and gentle. I guess when I came I was surprised because I thought the girls were really loud. But I'm like that too so I shouldn't say anything. That's one thing different. The humor is also different on the East Coast.

Word - Tell us how you came to Christ.
Eunice - I was born into a Christian family; my dad is a pastor in Virginia. I don't remember the specific time, but I know it was when I was pretty young, maybe 7 or 8. I think I accepted Christ in Sunday school. Every Sunday my teacher told the same story of the gospel, and one Sunday I just believed and prayed. But I guess I'm still confused even now as to when I actually came to Christ. The winter of 7th grade is when I truly committed. It was 3 days after Christmas; I remember one night I just really prayed that I would give him my life, and from that day is when I feel I really started walking with God.

Word - Did something happen that winter?
Eunice - There was no event, it's just I started seeking God daily. 7th grade was when I started doing quiet times, praying, and it wasn't just Bible studies anymore, or Sunday school, or games, but a person I was coming into contact with, and I started seeing Christ as a true person, a personal friend, and a personal God. I guess that's why when people ask me, I'm still like was it when I was 7 or 8, or 7th grade, but I guess the important thing is I'm saved.

Word - What's been the hardest part of being an officer this year?
Eunice - Because you're in a position of serving and there's a lot of administrative and logistical things you need to take care of there's always something you're taking care of and it's really hard to... It's hard to be a servant, not just be serving. I think a lot of times I find myself just serving and not being a servant, and I think there's a huge difference between the two.

Word- Is it a heart thing?
Eunice - Yeah, it's about your attitude.

I think another hard thing is not having a pastor for FiCS this year because I feel like a pastor keeps the vision going and renews the fire that you start out with at the beginning of the year. For example last year we were praying about the focus of this ministry - being about outreach and sharing our lives with the campus. I feel like for myself, it has been hard for me to keep that kind of fervor and enthusiasm.

Word - How has the freshman ministry been this year?
Eunice - I think one hard thing has been that at Stanford, we've been blessed with having leaders for freshman ministry that have really done a lot for the freshmen, really poured out their lives for them, and it's difficult at times not to compare myself with those people and see myself as unworthy of leading the freshmen, because my ministry style doesn't match theirs, even though that shouldn't be a concern. Because Christ is the one that sets the standard, and not other people.

Word - What are some blessings of the ministry?
Eunice - First, I've seen how God has been changing me through it. It's like God didn't use me to do all this stuff, he used all these experiences to change me. I failed in a lot of ways, and a lot of times I still feel very inadequate as a leader, but through this God has really shown me the areas of my life that need to be worked on, weaknesses I never thought I had, and I'm coming to know truly who I am. And He doesn't leave me hanging but shows me who He is and I think that part is really cool. At the same time, it's really awesome to be able to witness people growing in the Lord and for my girls I've just seen them blossoming and transforming and growing. It's so encouraging for me to see how much they want to learn and how eager they are to be women of God. And I feel like I've learned exponentially more from them than I've taught.

Word - What are your summer plans?
Eunice - I'm taking the MCATs this summer. If I stay in the Bay Area, I'll probably do research at Stanford. If I go home I want to work at a clinic that cares for HIV positive kids. I'm also praying to go to Guatemala with Students International but I don't know how that's going to work out.

Word - Is there a reason you want to go to Guatemala?
Eunice - The trip is a medical mission, and I guess I want to get a feel for the ministry in terms of how these doctors minister to people. A lot of it is not me ministering but I want to see how these missionaries live day to day and I want to learn from them; see their heart for people and see if this is where God may lead me in the future.

Word - Do you see missions in your future?
Eunice - It's definitely been on my heart. One thing I remember from Urbana was from Henry Ko's seminar on spiritual requirements for missions. God doesn't take volunteers but he drafts people, and I am open to it if He chooses to use me in that way, but at this point, I'm not convicted that that's what God wants for my life, but I think it would be a great honor and privilege.

Word - How did you decide to be pre-med?
Eunice - I've been pre-med since I was 5, and all through school I wanted to be a doctor. My dad really wanted to be a doctor; before entering ministry, he wanted to be a medical missionary, and I have felt some pressure, especially from him, and I kind of felt he wanted to live vicariously through me. So frosh year, I was pre-med. Sophomore year, I dropped it because, it sounds cheesy, but I was thinking about having a family and I felt it was impossible to be both a good doctor and a good mom and I wanted to be a good mom first. But last summer I worked at a clinic that cares for homeless patients in DC. I was never so energized in a working environment; it was the first time that when I came home from work it wasn't a feeling of weariness and not wanting to go back but I was really excited to go to work every morning. I loved interacting with these people, and it was cool because they were all African-American and wary of talking to an Asian, but I feel like I really developed good relationships with the patients. So I really felt like this is what I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life. I see that in any job for any Christian, your work is your ministry, and reading through the gospel I see how Christ first heals people, takes care of their physical needs, and then takes care of their spiritual needs. And I think it's just a blessing to be able to take care of people physically and also be able to take care of them spiritually.

Word - So now how do you feel about having a family?
Eunice - I really love kids, and have always wanted to have a lot of kids and have a family. But after speaking to doctors, especially women, they just say how hard it is, being both a committed mom and a committed doctor, and I decided it was more important to be a committed mom. But when I think about my life now, I can't deny that being in medicine is something God has placed on my heart, and maybe later He will lead me in a different direction. I feel like now my place is being pre-med and enduring the rigors of being pre-med, and if God wants me to have a family, somehow He will provide for my having a family, the nurturing and mothering they need. How, I don't know. In my family, my mom has always worked and my grandmother raised me; if it weren't for her, I don't know where I would be. But my point is, at this point, God has placed a desire in my heart to be a doctor, and that's the only thing I'm sure about now. I can't even say I'm going to get married and have a family, and it would be a shame if I didn't pursue something that God has already placed on my heart, and who's to say that Christ won't return next year? I'm just going to take what God has placed in my heart and move from there.

Word - So you're willing to give up a family?
Eunice - I guess in my own dream world I want to start some orphanage in some remote country, in my fantasy world, like this mother of an orphanage, caring for all the orphans, so I'm a mother and doctor. But I feel like God will provide me a family, be it my own biological family or children without parents or children that are sick. But He will grant me the desires of my heart as long as I am committed to following Him.

Word - How have you been able to balance ministry and your non Christian friendships?
Eunice - I think I'm really blessed because the 1st half of frosh year I didn't have any Christian friends except my small group leader Keren Ji. I mean I didn't hang out with Christian people and I think those 5 months cemented friendships with people in the dorm, and to this day, 3 of the people from my dorm are still some of my closest friends here. It's hard because I'm so involved in FiCS and KCPC and I guess that was a struggle this year: how do I divide time between small group, Christian friends, and non Christian friends. But I think it's not the quantity but the quality of time that matters and I feel I've been able share with them what's going on in my life and share how God is working. But it's a real struggle because I really want them to know I'm available for them, but they know I'm busy with ministry so a lot of times like Friday nights and Sundays when they want to hang out, I can't because of church commitments and feel guilty. But I feel this year God has given us a lot of times to share together. So in spite of this busy-ness our friendship has deepened because the time we do share has been profound. And they do wonder why I'm so committed to church and these random frosh girls that happen to go to my fellowship.

Word - Have you been able to share the Gospel with them?
Eunice - I started frosh year, and I think at that point I didn't know what I was saying. I mean I shared the Gospel but couldn't defend it properly. But faith comes up a lot in our conversations, because we're all at a point where we're wondering about our future, why we're here, who my real friends are, and all these questions about life, and we've been talking about God a lot more, and I guess it's really neat to see that they are questioning the existence of God, and what they really believe.

Word - How receptive have they been?
Eunice - None have accepted Christ, but they totally accept that I believe in Christ, that I know what I believe, but they still feel like it's something I believe but that they can believe something different. They accept the Gospel to the point where it's good for me but not for them. But some of them have started to read the Bible and I encourage them to read John and witness for themselves the life of Christ. And I know the Word of God doesn't leave people unchanged. Like in Isaiah, it doesn't go out without accomplishing its purpose. So I have faith that God will do what He wants to do in their lives.

Word - Who do you admire the most?
Eunice - My parents. Undoubtedly. With my dad, in all of my 21 years, I've never seen my dad angry once, never heard him raise his voice ever, or ever disturbed. Nothing has ever broken his calm. He's the most steadfast person that I know. You know the times when at night when I have an exam and am all stressed, or anxious or tired, I'll look at the clock and it's really early. At that very point I know my dad is praying, because every single day for as long as I remember, he's prayed at 4 am. He's never missed a day, and even when we go on family vacations, or on weekends, or when he's sick, he gets up to meet with God, and that sort of steadfastness and discipline and plain love for God is just something that I really want to emulate. He's just awesome. My relationship with my dad has just really just helped my relationship with God to grow. As I look at my dad I don't doubt his love for me as a daughter, and there isn't a single thing in the world he wouldn't do for me, and I know he would die for me. And when I look at God, He's so much greater than my physical father, and how much more does He love me, is He willing to go to any lengths to show this love? And this blows my mind because I can't even comprehend the love of my physical father.

My mom is just amazing too. She's a pastor's wife and there's a lot that goes on that people don't realize. Not only is she a pastor's wife but a full time mom and works full time as a pharmacist, at night. So every day, she only gets like 3 hours of sleep consistently. She's just really selfless, and so willing to sacrifice and to share. I say share because when I think about it, well, the most important thing in life is your spouse, and she has to share him with 2000 people in the congregation because his commitment is to God, and it's hard that she has to share him with everyone else, but I guess the point is, she just lives a life of sacrifice. Even when she has only gotten 1 hour of sleep, she'll still make me like, she just sent over 10 pounds of ban-chan (side dishes) so I could eat at night. Everything she does is for other people. Our relationship has really grown in college, because I call her every night. She just sacrifices. One thing is, I'll call her and be tired and burdened and weary, and how much more tired is she, but every time I talk to her, she's just full of hope and joy and is like, "Eunice, just be thankful for everything that God has given to you." Every time I talk to her I'm just thankful because whatever's going on, she just has a thankfulness that I totally lack. That's such an important thing as a Christian, to be thankful, because it reminds us who we are in Christ. For me, when I know that I should be thankful and think of the blessings God has placed in my life, my whole perspective changes, and there's a paradigm shift, and all your worries and concerns change and you see God is your father and He holds you and He's given you every spiritual blessing. There's nothing He's withheld. One of my favorite verses is in Psalm 50:23 "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God." It's like only in thanksgiving can we appreciate our salvation and begin to really grasp what it means that Christ died for us.

Word - So how come you didn't join worship team when I asked you?
Eunice - I think I would have struggled too much pride wise.

Word - What do you think of Charles and Jiyeon?
Eunice - Marvelous.

Word - And Kris and Melissa?
Eunice - I like it! But I want to use an adjective. Fantabulous.

Word - Lisa and Jay?
Eunice - I like it. I think they're perfect for one another.

Word - How's your Korean?
Eunice - It's OK, because my grandmother lived with me since I was born.

Word - What's your favorite sweatshirt and why? Why do you wear sweats every day? Why don't you shower?
Eunice - Actually, this quarter I've made a point to shower every day. But I have no one to impress and I just love being comfortable, but sometimes this sweatshirt starts smelling like stir-fry.

Word - How often do you pick your nose?
Eunice - Never. I just don't get boogers.

Word - You're lying!
Eunice - I'm not. I promise you.

Word - What angers you?
Eunice - I get offended when people are rude to me when driving. Driving just does something, which says something about me, I guess. I get mad when people make gestures to my mom, because sometimes she'll drive 35 miles on the highway or just stop on the street, but that's no reason to use foul language or make obscene gestures. It just hurts me to see my mom ridiculed.

Word - What's your favorite character in the Bible and why?
Eunice - I guess Joseph because he was blameless before God.

Word - How many cavities do you have?
Eunice - I've only had one in my life.

Word - Braces?
Eunice - Yes. For a year or two.