What's on my mind: (12/26/99)

Yeah, the reason I always apologize before writing my weirdo pop-philosophy entries is I'm afraid most people will be bored by them. The interesting thing is, I generally get the most responses from these more than any other. It may be that the majority are bored by these but a few select people are interested enough to write me. Most recently, David's friend Bo wrote me! She wants me to write another philosophical one that I was supposed to write a while ago. Hope you can wait, Bo, but that might take a little bit of time.

And someone else random e-mailed me in regards to that old entry about Bruce Bawer! Hope it's ok to mention that. Those were both potential boring I thought.

At any rate, what I realized about these thought pages is that what is most interesting to people is what is most interesting to yourself. Meaning, everyone has a different style, and what will come across as most interesting is whatever is most interesting to them - if you write about stuff you're not interested in, it'll be boring. And conversely, if you write about stuff you're interested in, the entries will be interesting. At least if you're male.

Anyway, Clara is interested in the daily events of her life, and her entries of such are interesting. As for me, I'm into introspection, and my claim is that since that's what I like best, those are the entries that are most interesting for other people. But it's just a theory.

Anyway, in regards to the Matrix, my thinking is that they get hackers freed because the resistance consists in large part of hacking into the Matrix. I'm not totally sure what they do, but they definitely do (Morpheus says the main deck is where they hack into the Matrix). Thus it's good to be a hacker. Maybe they look for other people, but I think their hacking activities are directly related to the resistance, which is why it is imperative that the agents get the codes to the Zion mainframe.

Anyway, the hacking the IRS D-base is not related to the matrix, I think. She hacked the database as Trinity before she got out - she was freed because she was recognized for her hacking ability, not the other way around. That is, she didn't hack the d-base because she was free, but she was freed because (well partly) she hacked the d-base. This makes the most sense to me.

Honestly, I take all of David's thoughts on the ethnic church with a grain of salt, because he makes the assumption that because he hasn't seen it, it's not possible. I'm talking in particular about the 2nd generation church and the 1st generation church co-existing as one church. I will grant that it's hard, but I think it's possible.

Maybe I should clarify. I hope it's possible. Again, my dad helped me think about this in different ways. But before, I thought that the 2nd generation church, to exist, needed to be a separate entity. Heavily influenced by this talk at Urbana given by some guy I forget his name.

My dad really believes that in the future, the 1st generation church will need the 2nd generation church. He wants to see the symbiosis work because he believes the future of the 1st generation church depends on it. I don't know, this idea just totally shifted my thinking. And I think he's right in a lot of ways. The thing about making a separate 2nd generation church is that it's pretty much permanent. Once you split it, you can't go back. And that really has a lot of ramifications. It may very well be that it needs to be separate. But I sincerely hope it isn't, and I for one don't want to be premature in moving it that way.

Anyway, like I said, David's never seen it work. Of course, he's never seen a church work in general, either. Just kidding.

I hate to do this, but I can't help it. But David is right - it is (somewhat) working at my church in Houston. It is far from perfect. Far far from, even with a superficial inspection. But, the 2 ministries, while linked, are autonomous enough that each does what is best for itself. So there's no problem of the 1st generation jacking the 2nd generation. Well at elast not as much. Autonomy is the key, though. And I guess that's rare in Korean churches, and is usually why the 2nd generation pastors leave. But it is possible, and I wouldn't say there's no way no how to it.

And of course, the cell church structure is the key. You don't have to understand it, just know that it's good. Coming home this summer and this winter break has been very encouraging for me, seeing what's going on at church. The English ministry, with no explicit intent to do so, I believe, has been becoming more multiethnic. There's the great Caucasian couple, I got to hear the guy's testimony over the summer, but it was just great. It was one of those turnaround testimonies, he had a bad life, was at the end of his rope (I think) then finds God and changes. And his wife is so happy, their family is much better (they have at least one daughter), and life is good.

Anyway, our pastor and his wife helped reach out to them, witness to them and disciple them. I thought that was great. Saving souls is what it's all about. Anyway, they're a married white couple with kids who just came to Christ, hardly the typical demographic of new 2nd generation churches. But somehow they're growing in Jesus through our church. That's very encouraging to me.

Anyway, like I said, it's getting more multiethnic, and to me that's encouraging. I don't know why. Yes I do. It's because these people aren't random, but it's peoples' friends and acquaintances. I don't know all their stories, like if they were saved before coming or not, but it's encouraging to me that our church is becoming a place where you can invite any of your friends and they feel comfortable enough to stay. So anyway, David, I think it's possible to have a healthy second generation church that's still associated with a 1st generation church. Just possible, not probable. That's all I'm saying.

Cell churches, baby. It's fun to watch.

While we're on the topic, I just want to say that I firmly believe that there is a place for the second generation church. I once had a conversation with this person that quite frankly just pissed me off. Basically she was just very down on Asian American churches or fellowships. Saying it's either racist, or just too comfortable, or I don't know what. You know what I mean, right? A lot of people feel this way. That Asian American churches/fellowships are just wrong.

Partly I suppose because it separates the body. And you know, that's a good idea. But I don't like their solution - that there should only be one type of church. I actually don't like this idea in general. I don't know - some people get discouraged that there are all these different fellowships and denominations and whatever. You know, sad that we're not "unified." For me, I think it's great. You know, we already are unified by being followers of Christ. I just think it's wonderful that there are all these different things. That way, it doesn't force people to be a certain way. If a particular church style or structure doesn't jive with you, I think it's cool to go somewhere else, cool that it's possible to go somewhere else.

Anyway, some people think that you know, we shouldn't be separate so we should just have one thing. You know what I'm saying? Like the whole concept of the multi-ethnic church. One that is specifically intended to be multi-ethnic, one that has this as an explicit goal. I think it's a cool idea and all, and there can be a place for it. But I don't think it should be the only way.

At any rate, people who think there should only be one type of church / fellowship generally tend to think their way is the only way and if people aren't down with that, they're screwed. I'm just personally very against that. To me, it's like, whatever it takes to reach the lost is a good thing. Like Paul says to the Jew he will be a Jew, to the Gentile he will be a Gentile; whatever it takes to spread the Gospel.

To me this means it's a good thing to have different ways and means, like ethnic churches/fellowships. Anyway, our church has been baptizing a lot of people thse past few years, and that's a good thing.

I also hope everyone doesn't take Dave too seriously when he talks about my family. They are great and all, but they're far from perfect, and their imperfections are revealed in startling clarity every time I come home for break. I'd be a fool not to appreciate them, but I'm just saying they're not perfect like Dave makes them out to be sometimes.

And I've especially appreciated it this year, as it may very well be the year our family is like this. My sister's wedding plans are rapidly finalizing and this is her last Christmas as a Chai. Anyway, we were messing around one evening, her cross-stitching and me playing Donkey Kong 64, when we realized, a moment like this may never happen again, after this break. It's a strange feeling. We're all growing up - enjoy it while you can, because it will be over before you know it.

I was also reminded how bad the New Kids On The Block were. Those of you who didn't have sisters probably don't understand the nightmarish hell we had to endure when they were big. Anyway, my sister recently bought their old album on CD, and it was terrible. You know how bad it sounded, how bad it's aged? It sounded like old Christian music. I'm not kidding. It is truly that bad.

In the past 2 or 3 years, my phone conversation skills have detiorated to a critical point. I used to be able to have a decent phone conversation with just about anyone for a good period of time. But now, due to extreme lack of practice, I feel awkward on the phone with just about everyone who isn't Jieun. I'm just purely functional, and being able to have a phone conversation longer than 30 seconds is an extreme trial. I'm fine in person, I think. I simply cannot talk on the phone for the life of me. It's a strange phenomenon.