Danny ChaiBelieve it or not, I’m somewhat careful about what I write on this lame page. In general, I like to stick with my own thoughts and not write too much about other people. I don’t know if I always do a good job with that, but, it’s just how I feel – it’s my page so I should limit it to myself and not make other people too nervous by talking about them. But, it’s just a general line, not a rule. But anyway.
I also don’t talk about work on this page. I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s just, this is a personal page, and I want to separate out my personal life from my professional life. So, sorry if I’ve never written about where I work or what I do, but I’m just like that, and I don’t even know if I ever will. Maybe I will.
At any rate, I’m hesitant to write about the wedding because, well it was my sister’s and I don’t want to violate what was hers by writing about it. Does that make any sense? Probably not. I’m just strange. Sorry. It’s just, I don’t want to write too much about her. If I want to say something about her, I’ll say it to her, not here. But, whatever.
But the wedding was a lot of fun. It was just hectic like crazy. Have you ever been involved with the planning of a wedding? It’s absolutely insane, and drives everyone involved insane as well. Especially big weddings. Which this was. With a wedding this big you need massive coordination and participation. And, I was kind of touched. Because all these different people came together. Like, the night before, at the rehearsal, all these old Bay Area friends were working on place settings and programs, and tons of people from the Houston church were at church all night cooking food. I don’t know, it was just nice to see.
It was also nice to see all these different people from all these parts of my life together in one place. Like, we had the San Jose people with whom me and my sister grew up, the Houston people, and the relatives all in one place, often hanging out together. I don’t know, that was kind of cool.
Also, the wedding went really well. Pretty much everyone agreed on this. A friend of mine who’s played in a lot of weddings said it was among the very best he’d ever seen. It’s just, everything felt very heartfelt. Just, there was a lot of emotional intensity, and people were crying the whole wedding. I mean, even me, a guy who pretty much never cries, was gone. I’m not George. It takes something significant to make me cry.
So, you could feel the intensity in the bride and groom, and in all their friends, and my dad performed the ceremony, so just, in everyone involved, it was heartfelt, and good.
There was this great moment where pretty much everyone on stage was crying, the whole wedding party, I mean, and the ring boy was playing with the pillow, visibly bored. I just found it a hilarious juxtaposition.
It was also good that it wasn’t all serious – they tried to keep the mood somewhat light. My dad was great. He was partly unintentionally funny because of his English. But he had some great lines. After they traded vows, he says to Peter, instead of saying you can kiss the bride, “You may now shake the bride’s hand.” That was probably the best line. But, the tone was like that.
The other great thing my dad did was keep it short. I don’t know, I heard a lot of speeches / talks over the weekend and I really believe one key to a great speech is keeping it short. Short is releative, though. So like, a short toast and a short sermon mean two different things. But regardless, it has to be short. That’s my claim. And, his talk was short, and good.
Anyway, the whole weekend, although it was a lot fun, and good to see so many good friends and relatives, was kind of tinged with a bit of sadness for me. I don’t know, it’s not like me and my sister are the most close siblings in the world. It’s just, I’ve always taken for granted that she’s my sister, and in a certain sense that’s changing. Even in the little things, like just being at home when I come home, or knowing her in a context outside of her husband. Really, life is all about the little things, and when those change, everything can feel different.
And it did, even the night after the wedding. Just a strange feeling. Kind of lonely. So, the whole weekend was tinged with that, for me. I’ve kind of lost a sister, and while I’m obviously happy for her, I can’t help but feel just a little bit sad.
Anyway, I got tired of everyone asking me when I was getting married, but to be honest, I couldn’t help but think of my own wedding. I don’t know, my wedding is going to be nothing like my sister’s. A lot smaller, and a lot of other things will be different. And, it went so well, I can’t help but wonder how mine will turn out, if it will be as OK or whatever.
I think I’ve realized that what makes a wedding go well isn’t all the logistics. I mean, you have to take care of that to a certain extent, but I’ve been to enough weddings now and I think what’s made the best weddings best was just, a heartfeltness to it by everyone involved. It’s something you can’t really plan for, I guess, but it’s this intangible thing that makes it special.
Our pastor also said something really great the Sunday following. Just, lots of us go to weddings and kind of critique them and think how we’ll do our own and how ours will be better. What he said was, how well the wedding goes doesn’t determine how well the marriage goes. If this were true, all those Hollywood marriages would be fantastic. But think of how many Hollywood marriages have even lasted. (By the way, Harrison Ford just left his wife of 15 odd years.) It’s not the wedding that matters, it’s the marriage. That’s a good reminder.
Anyway, my own wedding I think won’t be so intense. I think it will be fun and celebratory. No crying. And, hopefully, it will be weird. Because that’s the defining characteristic of me and Jieun’s relationship.
I’m still exhausted from the weekend. But, it was a good one. Sorry I didn’t write anything that girls would be interested in, but whatever.