I basically hate life right now. I could go on and on about how many bad things have happened to me. It’s amazing. I’ll just talk about the academic right now, though. I’m taking this class CS228, and it’s just so hard. Like for each problem set I have spent minimum 30 hours on, minimum, and have gotten barely around the mean for each one. Anyway, on the last problem set, I worked so hard and so long on it, but didn’t do very well, and now there’s this final take home problem set that looks like it will kick my butt (it already has; to even approach finishing it I need to devote my life to it for 3 days). So I’m quite depressed well not really depressed but sad because this final is 40% of the grade. I’ve worked so hard in this class and I know that I’m not going to do well in it gradewise. Of course it’s just about the learning, right? Yeah wrong.
I just got out of a EE282 final that was pretty much ludicrous. Again, I’ve worked so hard in this class and the majority of my grade is coming down to a final that was seriously just wrong, and I will fail it.
If I hadn’t worked this quarter it wouldn’t bother me, like CS137 last quarter. I did nothing for that class so I deserved the worst. But I’ve worked hard in these classes so it’s sad. Sigh.
But actually I’m pretty much happy. I watched a movie today – the Parent Trap. I think I’ve gotten sappier at Stanford. I think it’s the influence of certain people. Definitely Jieun. But also George I think. George is the sappiest person like ever. I’ll never forget Pastor Dave’s farewell service. The youth group did this presentation that made me so angry because it was so manipulative. I mean, so emotionally maipulative, and effective. So they sing Thank You, which is such a manipulative song, and then they have at the “one by one they came” part, all the kids go up and each present Pastor Dave’s family with a flower. Wrong. And then Allan sings a solo, and starts crying, and the whole thing was so manipulative. The thing is it was so effective. But I thought while I was sitting there, “I’m not gonna cry. I will not cry.” And I didn’t really, although it was close. But I remember looking over at George and he was just gone, just bawling. George is like that. Which is a good thing, albeit girlyman.
Anyway, the influence of these people have made me sappier, I think. That’s all I’ll write about that.