I think I have a screwed up view of service. In the spiritual sense. So I’ve been helping out with praise at church recently. SN. I like calling it praise, not worship. Have I ever explained this? I know a lot of people are the opposite, they like to call it worship. Reason being, it’s not just singing or whatever, it should encompass more that that, should be worship. So call it such. And I fully agree with that. I just think, I dunno, the greater danger nowadays seems to be that people think that worship is *only* the singing time part. And that’s not right. I dunno, just every part of the service is worship right? The sermon, the offering, whatever. It should all be worship. That’s understood. So just call the parts what they are. So I’m all about calling it praise, not worship, because praise is worship, but worship is not just praise, if that makes sense.

Whoa, digression. Anyway, yeah, helping at church and the worship pastor frequently asks me afterwards if it was “fun”. The first few times he asked me that I was caught off guard. I had no idea what fun had to do with anything.

Actually, I’ll go further than that. We probably all agree that doing something motivated solely by our personal pleasure is wrong, that it’s not spiritual service. But in my mind, I thought/think that spiritual service must *necessarily* not be fun. That if it’s fun at all, there must be something wrong.

I dunno if that makes sense, but I think that’s how my mindset has been. So I always felt kind of guilty if I “enjoyed” playing on Sundays. I think I equated sincerity with joylessness. So my attitude regarding serving has always been kind of martyr-esque. That I must do it, and that it must necessarily – to be true service – not be fun. I think there’s something messed up about that. But I think that’s the attitude I’ve had.

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