Dunno if you read my dad’s page but his latest one is pretty bold. The church discourages people who are already Christians from joining. I dunno, it’s just bold I think.

Anyway, one thing he said cut me to the quick. He says that people who have been Christians for a long time can often be negative forces. They already have their established ideas of what churches should be like. So when their strongly held notions conflict with a church’s policies, they express negativity, which confuses new believers and dampens everyone’s enthusiasm. I dunno, I think that’s true of me. Partly because my dad says it’s true. Whenever I complain about church he says how he feels sorry for the pastors of the churches I go to. Because I know too much.

I dunno, it’s just made me think about knowledge in general and I think there’s something screwed up with me. I don’t think I take knowledge the right way. Knowledge should build up others right? Someone edify and benefit the body. But I think for me, in many – perhaps most – ways, knowledge puffs up. The knowledge I gain I use to be judgmental. I’m so judgmental it’s insane. And it’s all founded on Scripture or other knowledge or whatever, but there’s something screwed up with that I think.

I just think I need like a radically different mindset when it comes to knowledge because I’m clearly using it wrong. I dunno, I think it comes down to teachability. I guess that’s the quality I want most for myself right now. Teachability. Sometimes people seem teachable, but it’s kinda superficial, like they’re teachable in things they ask opinions for, but with other things, if they believe they’ve already thought about it, there’s basically no way you could ever change the way they think. I’m like that I think. So yeah, I just want to be teachable, not just in my self-recognized shortcomings but in all parts of my life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *