I’ve been kind of depressed lately, not really, but relatively sad as far as I go. You know what I think part of it is. It depresses me when I hang out with Christians and it feels like I’m hanging out with non-Christians. I dunno how to explain it except like that.

I was part of this exchange recently in a group of Christians, where people were gonna hang out, and one guy suggested we go somewhere and play games and the other looked at him like he was crazy, or at least really square. I dunno, that just made me sad. Like, why do we need to go out and drink or club to have a good time? Again, I’m 100% fine with drinking, I drink, but I don’t understand the drinking culture, or rather, why it’s necessary for Christians to have fun. I dunno, just that we were in a Christian context but playing games was seen as being square, that made me sad.

I dunno, I don’t mean to be judgmental here, the feeling was pure sadness, not anger or self-righteousness or whatever. It just makes me sad when Christians clearly put their primary focus on the world when it comes to life priority, time, happiness and stuff like that and then wonder why they’re struggling spiritually. It’s not like a big profound secret why that happens. It’s fairly obvious. I dunno, just makes me sad.

I think this experience is still an exception though. I dunno. I’m big on the Christians are different than non-Christians thing. I believe it’s true, and in my experience it’s true, so those few times when I don’t feel it get to me. But yeah, it’s not like we have to sit around singing Kumbayah and sharing our feelings or whatever. Just, to me, there’s a qualitatively different feeling when hanging out with Christians vs. non-Christians, and it doesn’t matter if we’re playing basketball or video games or whatever. It just feels different.

But I dunno, I can see how things change I guess. I just hope at the FiCS 10 year reunion that Dave is planning that it will feel Christian.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *