Repeating My Parents, Becoming My Spouse

There were times when I was growing up when I distinctly remember saying to myself, when I grow up, I will never be the way my parents are. Just in regards to certain things that I didn’t like about them. Yet for all my hopes I find myself repeating all these things they do that bothered me. Which wouldn’t be so bad if I was imitating the good with the bad. But I find I’m just following the trail of the bad. Like, if I had my dad’s integrity and total sincerity in regards to faith, I’d be pretty happy. I don’t though. But I’m picking up his bad habits I think. I dunno, I just wonder a lot how/why this is happening.

Should I write another observation about marriage? Does anyone even care? Here’s the thing, it’s not like I’m an expert on anything. I think I just get surprised by a lot of things in marriage just because I’m so clueless, if that makes sense. I dunno, I know nothing, and I suck. That’s the point.

So here’s what I’ve noticed. We start acting more like the other person as time goes by. With both small things, like mannerisms, and bigger things as well. So sometimes I sit and wonder, why does she do that? And I realize, I think it’s because I do that. She picked it up from me. Which is sobering.

So I guess if there’s a lesson, it’s be the type of person you want to marry. Because in certain ways, that’s who the person you marry will turn into.