Since I have neither shame nor a proper sense of decorum, I guess I’ll write about my injury. Uh, females and those of weak heart should probably not read this entry.
So Friday after a day of meetings our group goes Go-Kart racing at this place in Santa Clara. It’s actually a lot of fun. You wear flame resistant body suits, helmets, the whole deal, and you go decently fast.
Anyway, on like the 4th race, I’m going, and I feel like someone’s bumping me, not sure, so I turn my head around to check. I have no idea what I’m thinking. While my head is turned, I run full speed into the wall, which is a bunch of tires, so it’s not like crashing into a real wall but still. What happens is, my body slams forward, since there’s no seat belt, and I smash my private parts against the steering wheel. I immediately feel *insane* pain so I jump up howling. A guy runs over and he’s about to push my car out so I can continue but I try to tell him I’m out, I’m done, but he’s having trouble understanding me and I’m having trouble communicating because of my helmet so finally I just yell, frustrated, “I SMASHED MY BALLS” and he lets me go.
Uh, I think I’ll spare the gory details but it involved a little bit of blood, bandages, and ice. I manage to get home, I was gonna go straight to the hospital but I wanted to shower first since I was drenched in sweat. Anyway, when the water hit the affected area, it hurt something fierce and I could not help but primally yell. Eeyouch. Jieun was talking to someone on the phone and I think I freaked them out but what could I do. I have no idea how to explain the pain to a non-male, I was trying to with Jieun, but how do you do it? It’s like the part on your body that hurts most times two. Yeah, I’m sure childbirth is worse — maybe — but believe you me, it’s not something you want to go through. Ever.
It’s fairly embarrassing describing this injury to the check-in people, but they were all professional about it. The doctor who saw me was a woman. At first I asked how much longer the wait would be for a male, but it could have been considerable and I didn’t want to wait that long. She also mentioned, many Ob-Gyns are males, which I suppose is true. Anyway, the exam was OK, I went in the next day to get an ultrasound (also administered by a woman, who is making small talk while running that thing around my privates, maybe it’s just me but that’s awkward) and the doctor who checks it tells me there’s bruising but no permanent damage. He also tells me, unprompted, “This should not affect your ability to have children.” Exactly what I wanted to know. Whew.
So I’ve been walking around like a bow-legged cowboy the past couple days. It hurts way less, but there’s still pain, especially when I laugh or sneeze. Hopefully everything will turn out alright in the end. How was your weekend?