I think I’ve written about this before, but an older folk at KCPC once complained to me about about how Stanford peeps are overanalytical in the sense that they won’t do anything unless they fully understand why it’s being done. Always asking stuff like what’s the point, what’s the purpose. If those things aren’t answered, they won’t get on board.
I dunno how accurate a characterization that is, but I think it’s somewhat true of me. Anyway, I’m not totally sure what the point of having kids is, don’t take it for granted that everyone in general (or us specifically) should have kids. What’s the point of having kids? If it’s just for our own happiness or desire to leave a legacy, I dunno, that’s ultimately pointless I think. I’m not sure the Genesis command to be fruitful and multiply still applies, since Paul counsels us not to get married, a clear contradiction of the earlier command.
The only real compelling reason I can think of for having kids is something I heard in Perspectives, that raising Christian children is a way to grow the Kingdom of God. That I buy. And if that’s true, it affects I think what I want to do with my kids.
For one thing, I dunno if I want to send my kids to a “good” college, whatever that means. I’m not sure I want them to go to anything but a Christian college period. Reason being, I’m not sure what message is sent to children when their parents push them inordinately towards academic success. I mean, what’s the point? And what’s the outcome of that pushing? Even with myself, I felt pressure growing up to do the church thing, but not to let it interfere with my real focus, school, “success”; that whole thing.
And I dunno, when parents send that message to kids all their lives, it gets through. It depresses me when I see people our age living nominally Christian lives, but in reality living for and having as their first priority the success their parents pushed for them since birth, and fitting church in where there’s space. That’s just depressing. And going to a competitive school just reemphasizes that I think, the push to achieve worldly success. I remember a couple friends saying how when they went through the Stanford reunion book, which outlines what everyone from our class is doing now, they felt like losers. Why would they? I dunno, something about the environment makes you equate worth with “success”.
Anyway, there’s no way I’m sending that message to my kids. I mean, do well in school, whatever, have a decent job, those are all fine things. But ultimately there are way more important things – namely, the kingdom of God – and I want to make that clear not just in my words but in my priorities for them. And I don’t want them to get caught up in the success prioritization that happens at some colleges. I can achieve all these things if I insist that they go to a Christian college.
The thing is, Jieun is 100% against me on this, and since I trust Jieun with our kids way more than I trust myself, they’ll probably end up going to secular colleges. We’ll see.