Danny ChaiI don’t believe in Father’s Day.
I do believe in Mother’s Day. Just not Father’s Day. And I’ve been saying this ever since I became a father. My reasoning is pretty simple: mother’s do more. Because of that, it’s not right that fathers get equal recognition/credit as mothers.
I remember telling this to someone years ago (before she had kids) and she was outraged, responding about how, in her view, fathers are extremely important, just as important as mothers, and so forth. I think she thought I was shirking my responsibility or something, saying that fathers don’t do as much to let myself off the hook. That’s the only way I can understand the outrage. In any case, that’s not what I’m saying at all. Fathers are vitally important. They play a crucial, critical, irreplaceable role. Even still, I’m sorry, I don’t know how else to say it, but mothers do more. I’m not even saying that they necessarily should do more. I’m just saying that they do. There are things that only mothers do.
If you want to distill it to the very basics, only mothers can bear children and breast feed. Even if the first part was all there was, mothers deserve special recognition. In fact, historically, Father’s and Mother’s Days never came together. Mother’s Day has been celebrated for far longer, both informally and as a nationally recognized holiday. That’s how it should be. They should never have added Father’s Day at all.
So yeah, because of that, I’m against Father’s Day. Just doesn’t feel right to me that we both get equal days. Someone once asked if I’d be OK with having 2 Mother’s Days and 1 Father’s Day. I’d be down with that. Just not equality.
You know what I find absurd? In Korea, they combine Mother’s and Father’s into Parents’ Day, which, predictably, I’m against. Even worse, they have Children’s Day. Dude. As far as I’m concerned, *every* day is children’s day. Especially here, where, for all intents and purposes, we idolize our children. They’ve already got it made. The last thing we need is another day for them. Seriously. We need a Biweekly Housecleaners Day before we need a Children’s Day.
Anyway, Jieun has this interesting philosophy on celebrating Mother’s Day. You know, it’s common to give mothers a “break” on Mother’s Day apart from the kids. She’s against that. It’s a day celebrating motherhood – she wants to be with the kids. She just doesn’t want to have to watch them. So her request was lunch out with the family where she doesn’t have to watch the kids at all. That means bringing friends with us to help with the kids. And that’s what we did. We had a nice lunch with the whole family + friend helpers where she wasn’t responsible for the kids at all.
I have to say, I was highly influenced by that and feel the same way. It makes sense to me. How does celebrating Father’s Day by doing your own thing make any sense? It seems antithetical to the point of the day. “You’re a great father – now go ditch your kids for real fun.” If I believed in Father’s Day, I would insist that any activity be something with the kids. But I don’t believe in it, so.
Curmudgeon out.