Danny ChaiI have a couple pet peeves. One is when people respond to things without listening to what the other person said. Or just in general when people don’t try to understand the other person. But it’s especially bad when they respond before doing this.
Obviously, I’m guilty of this myself at times, else it wouldn’t bother me so much. And, a lot of times I lack understanding. But, in group situations, I think I try to understand what people are saying. I don’t know. I just get annoyed when conversations get on big tangents because one or more people aren’t even trying to understand each other.
Another pet peeve is when people get hooked on a “vision” of something and try to force everyone else to do it. Actually, this only annoys me in two situations.
One is when I think their vision is flawed or even wrong. So when people don’t hook on to it, they get discouraged. What bothers me about this is that they can have this holier than thou attitude, essentially saying why is no one else as good as me? When it might be their “vision” that’s flawed in the first place. When someone gets discouraged, it’s not always the fault of the people that discourage him. As Paul wrote, true love is not easily discouraged. If you’re getting discouraged all the time because people don’t do what you think they should, maybe there’s something wrong with you.
I really believe that something that’s from God is not a burden, but a blessing. So like, let’s say someone has the “vision” that the church needs to do community service every day at 5 AM. It’s hard to question the heart in that, it seems like it’s in the right place. But, I think it’s valid to question the wisdom of it. If people don’t catch on to it, this person has no right to get discouraged by it. For many people, it might well be more of a burden than a blessing.
I’m not saying that if people are reluctant to do something then it’s automatically an invalid vision. Sometimes people do need to be pushed, and that’s good. It’s just, that’s not always the case. I just believe that if something is really from God, that He has a desire for a church to do something, then either people will eventually come around to it, as He mobilizes His church to do what He wants, or He will provide strength for those few that He needs to do it. God’s plans can’t be frustrated. If this vision is from God, either the people of God will catch on to it, or the few people who do will be enough for what He wants. So if people aren’t catching on to it, I sincerely believe that if it’s from God, the person who had the vision shouldn’t get discouraged. Either people will come around, or God will strengthen you so you don’t need those people. If neither of those things happen, my claim is, there’s something wrong with your vision, no matter how good the intentions might be.
I also get annoyed when people impose their vision without explaining or selling it. This isn’t as big a deal to me, I guess. It’s just, what will happen if you don’t get other people to understand your vision is that it will die. Just, people won’t do it if they don’t understand it. Or they’ll do it, but there won’t be any heart behind it.
I don’t know, I’m into vision, and it bothers me when things are done without vision, without explaining the vision or what I perceive to be the wrong vision. The second one just dooms it to failure. And the third really wouldn’t bother me so much except people tend to get discouraged and/or judgmental about it when it’s not justified.
Umm, I don’t try to sabotage what I think are poor visions, I hope. I went to the previous incarnation of the “cell group” and ours was one of the only ones that were even decent. I’ll support it. I’m just saying I think I know why by and large, all the other groups failed. I also attended all the Sunday YAG Bible studies, from back in the days of the Psalms studies, to the Experiencing God et al studies, and whatever. I didn’t kill them. I just know why they failed.
But, better a wrong vision than no vision at all. Is that bold? I don’t know, it’s what I think. I guess the reason I was encouraged so much by FiCS’ Welcome Night is because there seemed to be such a good vision. It was great. Like I said, everything I would have wanted to see, I saw.
By the way, I’ve written about this before, but it’s pure joy dancing with someone you like and who you know likes you. Seriously, it’s a great feeling. Because it’s 100% fun – you’re comfortable with each other, there’s no awkwardness because you know each others’ style, you don’t have to teach or show off or anything. The only consideration is having a good time, and it’s bliss. Far from being boring, it’s the opposite, I think. Meaning, since you have a common skill level, there’s no tentativeness there, and it’s even more comfortable dancing. I don’t know, I just think comfort is more key than novelty when it comes to having fun dancing. Not that there’s no enjoyment in learning new moves. It’s just, the most fun I’ve had dancing is when me and my partner connect, and that’s mostly a comfort thing.
Of course, pretty much the only person I’ve ever danced with a lot if Jieun.
Come to think of it, I think marriage is the same way. At least for me. I don’t know, some people might value novelty in partners and so prefer never having the same partner forever, fearing boredom. But for me, I think there’s this level of enjoyment that comes with comfortability and nothing else. Novelty is good, but comfort is key, I think.
I’m in love.