This is going to sound weird, but I resent the fact that I need to do certain things every day. Like eating. Sometimes eating is just a hassle and a chore. And the thing about eating is, if you eat, and even if you do absolutely nothing, in a few hours, you need to eat again. What a waste of time. I love food, but sometimes the fact that I need to eat daily annoys me.

I also resent the fact that I need to shower. Just, showering for me isn’t fun like it is for other people. It’s a chore. At any rate, I take quick showers. The key is, I always use 2-in-1 shampoo plus conditioner.

Side note. I was listening to Scott Underwood once and he always says these things during worship, just talking, stuff like, “You are the new wine! Give us another drink! We’re so thirsty and empty God!” Just cool stuff like that I could never come up with on my own except with deliberate planning. Other stuff like “You’re the Balm of Gilead”. Just, a lot of cool worship talk.

So I was thinking what metaphors I could use in worship. And as usual, I thought about what would be most absurd. Anyway, the shampoo metaphor could be pretty cool. “Yes, God! You are the shampoo! Rise and lather out the dandruff of my sin! Repeat if necessary! You’re like Pert Plus but better! Pert Plus is 2 in 1 but you’re 3 in 1!” Of course, all done in an English accent and accompanied by lathering motions.

Uh, pretty sacriligious.

Anyway, yeah, using 2-in-1 shampoos saves so much time it’s incredible. It makes your showers lightning quick. So far I’ve tried Pert Plus, Head and Shoulders, Aussie brand, Pantene, and Finesse. My favorite for a long time (since frosh year) has been Pantene, but I’m using Finesse right now and it’s pretty good. Stay away from Pert Plus. It doesn’t condition at all.

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