I don’t care about your stupid abstract shampoo theory. I just know it works. Pantene (and now Finesse) shampoo plus conditioner leaves my hair feeling clean and conditioned. I don’t care too much about my hair so saving time is more important.

I found an explanation on how shampoo plus conditioner works from someone called the Makeup Diva. Call it Clara Hong. There’s another one here, a transcript of a conversation with a Pantene customer service person on a questionable humor site.

Also found out that a bunch of shampoo brands are all owned by Proctor and Gamble. Head and Shoulders, Pantene, Pert Plus, Vidal Sassoon. Also found out there are people on the web who care way too much about grooming.

But while we’re on the subject, I do remember the chemistry of cleaning agents. If I recall correctly, generally soaps don’t remove chemicals, just dirt and oil. They do this by forming micelles around dirt and oil which allow them to be rinsed out.

Conditioners don’t have to bond to oil, but to hair. It’s a completely different chemical attraction, unless you’re using some kind of new shampoo that pulls out hair as well as oil (which would actually explain a lot). I guess if you didn’t take much chemistry and retained little of even that, such that your chemical knowledge is limited to “adds, strips” it doesn’t make sense. But it should.

And while I’m at it, your knuckles smell.

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