A few comments on Dave’s latest.

I dunno, I thought the funniest song thing we did was going off on one random line in A Whole New World: “Don’t you dare close your eyes.” Just, we transformed that to bitter invective. Like, “Don’t you f-ing dare close your f-ing eyes.” And going off. I dunno, it was funny to me.

The reason we got through Part Of Your World is because of me. Dunno if I ever mentioned this, but summer I think it was after 8th grade, I hung out a lot with this friend, kind of an interesting guy, but he would always watch The Little Mermaid. So, any time I went to his house, it was on, so we must have watched it like 30 times over the course of that summer. So yeah, I know the songs really well. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a thing for Ariel. But come on, we all did.

By the way, do you know how old she is in the movie? I dunno, it’s disturbing if you think about it.

I guess Dave didn’t notice it, but yeah, at dinner, we were making snide comments at the movie we were watching. It was called Deceived, starring Goldie Hawn. Pretty bad. I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but when I see the phrase “starring Goldie Hawn”, warning bells go off in my head. It’s like “Discount sushi”.

So yeah, the movie was unsubtle to say the least and me and Dave were leading the way in making comments. Like, something would happen to Goldie and we’d say, “maybe she’s been… Deceived?”. I dunno, it was funny to me.

The thing was, long story, but there were a bunch of white folks there also. And, did you notice this, Dave? They thought we were hilarious. At one point, one of the guys asked, “do you always watch movies like this?” Just, he was thought we were really funny. I dunno, maybe you disagree with my assessment of the night. But my claim is, me and Dave are hilarious, even to white people. There was one time we were playing Yahoo! Graffiti, and I’ve written about this before, but seriously, we were the hit of the party. People were dying. And this random Chicago sorority girl was hitting on Dave, we were so funny.

So that’s my claim. Me and Dave are funny. And if people don’t get it, there’s something wrong with them.