It’s amazing how much I’m motivated by guilt. I dunno if it’s a cultural thing or what, but when I think about it, I’d say the majority of everything I do is motivated by guilt. I know that sounds crazy but I think it’s true.
And I think they’re something screwed up with that, especially as it regards to my spiritual life. I dunno, I was just thinking this because I was assigned to look at some verses this week and they all dealt with forgiveness of sin. I think there’s a place for guilt. You know, guilt makes everyone uncomfortable, and whereas the world tries to justify itself so it doesn’t feel guilty about anything, I think the promise and hope of Christianity is that our guilt and shame can be taken away as our sins are forgiven. I dunno, these verses just encouraged me. Especially, I think, because freedom from guilt and shame is far from my normal experience.
And I put a lot of blame on the Korean church. I dunno, maybe that’s too harsh. But yeah, I resonated a lot with Dave’s criticism of CFC (that’s right, I’m not afraid of Google. Covenant Fellowship Church. Pastor Min. Nintendo Goonies II. Gel Electrophoresis) and their overemphasis on confession of sin. Like he said, there’s a place for that, but geez, isn’t the Christian life supposed to be about freedom from and victory over sin? I dunno if Korean churches want that. I think they want us to feel guilty. They’re just like our parents, equating guilt with motivation. And I dunno how right that is. Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I feel like the reason I don’t feel more freedom from my past sins is because Korean churches won’t let me forget them.