“Religious structures were made for man, not man for religious structures.”

“The Bible never tells us we’re to figure out whether we’re chosen or not, our theological status before embracing or rejecting the message.”

I’m recalling these wrong but that’s the gist of a couple things our pastor has said in the past few weeks that have stuck with me.

I dunno if you know this about me, but from time to time I buy lottery tickets. I don’t expect to ever win; if you know anything about the lottery and odds and who buys it and stuff you know it’s essentially a tax on the stupid. But I dunno, I thought the people who said that were missing the point. Because more than buying a chance to win money, people who buy tickets are buying hope. And hope is vital in life. So even if you don’t win, in some sense it’s still worth it, because it’s provided just a little measure of hope. I dunno if that makes sense, but it’s what I thought.

I think my thinking changed though. I dunno, I just realized that the fact that I’m buying hope is the very thing that’s wrong with it. Just that putting your hope anywhere else besides Christ is a sin. Maybe you disagree, but yeah, that’s how I feel about it now. I’m still cool with buying lottery tickets for entertainment, but not for hope. Maybe this makes sense to no one, but it has to do with my heart.

I was just thinking this recently because I dunno, I think more and more these days I’m putting my hope in money and it scares me. I think before working I didn’t intend to be a programmer for a very long time. Not because I didn’t like it, but because there are other things I wanted to do maybe more. But now that I’m in, geez, it’s hard to get out. Just, you want to be a good steward of your money, and that involves thinking about the future. But the more you think about your financial future the more money you want for it to be stable and secure.

I still don’t think I’m financially greedy or ambitious. I don’t want to be rich. I just want to be comfortable. But I think that’s just as bad. I dunno, it just goes back to the heart thing, where I’m putting my primary trust, and I find nowadays I’m putting more and more trust in my financial future. There’s nothing wrong with making a lot of money, or a little. It’s all a heart thing. I’m just kind of disturbed at where my heart is going.