There’s a reason why my thoughts are so boring nowadays. I’m just finding that I don’t have the patience to write out my interesting thoughts. They’re there – honest. I start but then get bored and/or distracted so I never finish. The only things that come out are these quick ones, which, since I finished them, must mean I didn’t really have a lot to say about, which means they weren’t all *that* interesting to me. Not enough to merit a lot of commentary on, at least. I dunno, that’s my theory.
Actually, my larger theory is that I’m going insane. I’m only 55% kidding about this. It’s not just with writing these things that I have trouble concentrating on, it’s with a lot of things – I’ve been having trouble sustaining thoughts for long periods of time. This is actually happening with my vision also – I feel like my focus is racing and it takes a concerted effort to concentrate on a subject. When I read, sometimes my eyes dance all over the page and after “finishing” it, I find I have no clue what I just supposedly read. I have to purposefully slow down and go word by word. It’s like that with everything I look at – if I don’t force myself to focus, my eyes are just all over the place.
Kind of scary, huh? I dunno, I’m going insane. But actually, that’s not entirely true. Like, when push comes to shove, I can maintain focus on things that I need to, mostly related to work and marriage. I guess it’s just with writing then. I just don’t have the patience and discipline to write everything I’m thinking anymore. Especially the more (to me) interesting thoughts which take some exposition. So you’re just left with the dregs. Sorry.