I’ll be honest, all these comments about my page is giving me some performance anxiety. I’m telling you, this page is inane and boring more often than not, so yeah, just low expectations, that’s all I’m saying. To prove it, another boring entry:

So I’m not that great a swimmer. I’m not awful. Like, I took swimming at Stanford one quarter and I clearly didn’t belong in the beginner class, but I was the worst one in my intermediate class (or it might have been advanced intermediate… not sure).

One thing that did hold me back was my refusal to wear a Speedo swimsuit. I was the only one there going trunk style. But I dunno, I just can’t do it. I subscribe to Dave’s principle regarding men’s clothes – if there’s a bulge, not good. If there’s a crevice, not good. Speedos can be both those things, and yeah, you’re in the water, but still. I dunno, I just can’t do it. Way too European for me.

So yeah, that didn’t help, but in general I wasn’t that great. I honest to God nearly drowned during the butterfly lesson. I know, butterfly is hard, but I mean, I wasn’t just showing improper form, I was close to death. Not good times. Bad times.

The other thing that holds me back is this – for some reason, I just can’t exhale underwater. It gets into some primal fear I have about running out of breath or something, but it’s just hard for me to exhale. So, when I take a breath, I have to both exhale and inhale. So I end up taking these really long exaggerated breaths every other stroke.

I don’t think that’s good. After I swim, sometimes my neck hurts, and I think it’s from twisting my head so much to do those exaggerated breaths. I dunno. Anyway, that’s my boring story.

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