Merry belated Christmas, I guess. In honor of the “true” spirit of Christmas neither of my parents stepped foot in a single store this year so us “kids” got nothing. Warms the heart right good.

I think I wrote before how I can’t go to Disneyland again until I have kids. Just, the magic is gone for me, so it won’t be really fun again until I take my kids, when it’s magical for them. Anyway, I think Christmas is starting to be kind of like that. I dunno, maybe there’s just something wrong with me, but I just feel like it’s becoming less and less special each year. Even since college. Now, besides the Jesus thing, it’s just a time to see family. Which is nice and all. Just not super special. I dunno, maybe there’s something wrong with me.

Anyway, my sister’s pregnant so we’ve been talking just a little bit about how we’re going to raise our kids. Like I’m undecided on how much TV we’ll let them watch. I don’t want them to watch too much, but it seems kinda hypocritical. Me and my sister watched TONS of TV as kids. TV was our primary caretaker. Second was my grandma. Then my parents. But yeah, hours and hours each day. It’s kind of cool, kind of sad, but sometimes we reminisce by singing old TV theme songs. Anyway, was all that TV bad? I think I turned out all right. It might have even aided my social development. I dunno. Anyway, torn.

This came up in small group also but we’re unsure about whether we’re gonna do the Santa Claus thing with them. I asked my parents and according to them, they never went either way, didn’t say he exists, didn’t say he didn’t exist. I can’t remember exactly why we believed in him though. Jieun doesn’t want to do that. Doesn’t want to do the dressing up at Halloween either. We’ll see, I guess.

SN. Jieun asked me the other day if I expect her to be the primary caretaker of our kids. I hate it when she asks questions like that. Ugh. Because I know there’s a “right” answer, I just don’t always know what it is, so I need to kind of fumble my way through it. What’s the right answer to this question? Is she asking if I want to share responsibility? As it turns out, that’s not it. She wants to be the primary caretaker. She was just asking if I shared that. But yeah, not clear from the question. I dunno, it’s not easy coming up with the right answers.

Anyway, since Xmas is the one time our family’s all together it’s kind of like a time marker. And by this time next year I’ll have a niece. I dunno, time keeps hurtling forward, life keeps changing, it’s crazy. We’ll see what this next year holds I guess. Boring.