Danny ChaiIn No-Limit Texas Hold ‘Em, at least when you’re a beginner, it’s frequently the case that how you end the night is less a function of your overall play and more dependent on just a handful of instantaneous decisions made with not too much thought. At Young’s bachelor party, near the end of the night, one guy who had played solid the entire night and was slightly up went all in on a pure gamble, just it was the end of the evening. He busted out, and I was really saddened by that, not so much for the money as the stakes were small, but the principle of it, that an entire night of solid play can be invalidated by a single ill-advised gut reaction. I think one of the most important lessons for a beginner is to limit as much as possible these types of moves, where you go crazy without thinking. It happens to everyone; you just have to learn to control it.
I think life is the same way. One of my life theories is that the course of our lives is frequently directed not by so much by the careful planning we do but by a handful of decisions and actions that aren’t necessarily made with a lot of thought. Things like why we chose the major / career we did, the friends we have, the places we live, whatever, for a surprising number of people, these decisions weren’t made with a ton of thought, people just kind of went along with what was going on at the time. Or like, if you saw He Got Game (a not very good movie that I remember Leo was really disturbed by), he ends up in jail because of a split-second anger reaction where he pushes his wife and she ends up hitting her head and dying. No forethought, just an instantaneous reaction that alters the course of lives forever. I personally believe this kind of stuff happens a lot.
I think that’s why the Army repetitively trains people to react in very specific ways. When they’re faced with unfamiliar situations, they’ll respond as they’ve been conditioned without thinking about it. Battles hinge upon those instinctive decisions. So they train soldiers to instinctively do the right thing.
Why am I writing this? It’s been a really tough week at work. It’s not really busy, it’s just that I’m at a crossroads where I need to make some fairly important decisions about my future. What’s making it hard is that the situation I’m in is an unholy mix where I have to take the initiative for things to happen but also have patience, with a really imminent deadline mixed in. It’s starting to take its toll.
And my tendency in pressure-filled important situations like this is to just say screw it; forget doing the stressful work to arrive at the best conclusion. I’ll just make a quick decision to get it over with. In other words, All In. I suppose I don’t deal with the pressure well and would rather get it over with suboptimally than deal with the process.
I’m trying my hardest to use my poker training and not do that, not make a quick decision just to get it over with, and be patient through it all. But yeah, it’s just been a hard week.
And dang, when it rains it pours. Mix in small group stuff, leading worship this week, Jieun’s back to school night, going to the Stanford football game this weekend, and general father/husband duties and it’s making for a very long week. I totally resonate with what Minho says about there always being stuff to think about and the effect that has. It’s just one of those weeks.