While walking Abby today we walked past a car blasting rap music. A Toyota Previa. I dunno, I’m against that. I think if you drive a minivan, you lose your legal rights to blast hardcore music of any kind. Although it’s ridiculous for a nerdy Asian like me to be the arbiter of appropriate environs for rap.

There’s a reason I can’t get into this wet shave thing: I don’t have enough facial hair to make it worth it. I hate my facial hair, it’s like the waters of Laodicea. I don’t have enough to look manly, just a wispy mustache and a thin chin patch that’s increased from 3 hairs after college to about 30 now. But I don’t have so little that I can avoid shaving without looking scraggly. It’s lukewarm facial hair, just enough to be annoying.

This may sound ridiculous, but my lack of facial hair has been one of the reasons I haven’t applied for Survivor. As you may or may not know, I’m a Survivor freak – I’ve seen all but 3 episodes that have ever aired. And I’ve thought about applying to be on the show. It’s just, by the end of the show, all the other men will be sporting mustaches and beards, while I’ll just look like I have a vaguely dirty upper lip. I’ve got enough issues with my masculinity to deal with (the other week, yet another telemarketer mistook me for a woman, even after I kept loudly and deeply saying “excuse me?” every time he referred to me as “ma’am”). Maybe it’s absurd that I think about things like this, but I do.

Anyway, given my lack of facial hair, I’m not going to spend any more time on it than I have to. Just on principle.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *