Danny ChaiEsquire came out with an issue celebrating 10 years of “What I’ve Learned”, probably my favorite feature in the magazine, and it’s fascinating. These are interviews with famous people where they share, as the name says, what they’ve learned.
Among the most interesting was a recent interview with Michael J. Fox. This line in particular stood out to me: “My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.”
My dad kind of wrote something similar recently: “Our happiness depends on our expectations. When our expectations of life are high, we are less happy. When our expectations are low we are happier.”
I’ve been thinking about that a lot. The more expectations we have, the less happy we are. I’d put it more, the more we feel entitled to, or more we feel like we deserve, the less happy we are, but it’s the same thing. And I’ve found it to be true both in my own experience and in observing other people. Since, as MJF’s life shows us, we have only limited control of what happens in our life, it only makes sense that we learn to tone down our expectations.
Anyway, here are some other random what people have learned things that I liked in the mag.
“I sometimes meet people who say, I’m going to be this and I’m going to be that. You feel kind of bad for them because they’re limiting themselves. It’s different from having an enthusiasm for something and seeing where life takes you. I feel lucky to never have planned to go into what I did. I always just said, ‘All I want to do is make things, whether it’s drawing or writing.’ If I’d said, ‘I’m going to be a director,’ it probably wouldn’t have happened.” – Tim Burton
“I remember a Matisse exhibition that allowed you to see his entire artistic arc. It showed you how an artist is always searching to get back to simplicity — you know, to look at life for the first time. There’s really something to that. Whether you like it or not, a child really connects you to that time when everything’s new. It’s so important, not just for artistic endeavors, but for humanity.” – Tim Burton
“What you are thinking about, you are becoming.” – Muhammad Ali
“If you don’t know about pain and trouble, you’re in sad shape. They make you appreciate life.” – Evel Knievel
“Ambition is exhausting. It makes you friends with people for the wrong reasons, just like drugs.” – Carrie Fisher
“There isn’t a whole lot of point to living half the year in a lousy climate.” – Hugh Hefner
“When people ask for advice, what they’re really asking for is help.” – Robert Altman
“If you start out looking at somebody, wondering whether he’s good or bad, I think you’re starting out in the wrong direction. I think we’re all good and we’re all bad.” – Willie Nelson
“Freedom without responsibility is chaos.” – Rod Steiger
“We get confused between self-esteem and narcissism.” – Rod Steiger
“Up until I became a father, it was all about self-obsession. But then I learned exactly what it’s all about: the delight of being a servant. Olivier wrote that the greatest thing you could aspire to in life was to be a good servant.” – Eric Clapton