I found out recently that Capcom once listed the fighting styles of
everyone in Street Fighter. They are:

  • Ryu: Shotokan Karate
  • Ken: Shotokan Karate
  • Blanka: Capoeira (later changed to “Jungle” style)
  • Guile: Special Forces (?)
  • Chun Li: Wushu
  • Zangief: Sambo
  • Dhalsim: Kabaddi
  • Honda: Sumo Wrestling
  • Balrog: Boxing
  • Vega: Bull Fighting (later Spanish Ninjitsu; a cross between ninjutsu
    and Spanish Savate)
  • Sagat: Muey Thai
  • Bison: Ler Drit
  • Cammy: Special Forces
  • Fei Long: Kung Fu
  • Dee Jay: Western Kickboxing
  • T.Hawk: Inidain-Style Wresting

You know, sometimes the question goes around, you know how some people prefer to have a lot of friendships, while other people prefer to have just a few, but closer, friends. So the question is, which one are you? Do you prefer to have a lot or just a few close ones?

I have never heard anyone ever answer the first way. I mean, everyone always says they prefer to have less but closer friends. Even when you look at a person and realize that’s totally not the case, that’s the answer that everyone will give. I think it’s because the first option gives the impression that someone is shallow. That if they like having a lot of friends that they are superficial and necessarily don’t want to be really close with everyone. Or that it’s important that they be popular or something. Whatever. I think that everyone thinks that the first option is superficial and no one really thinks that they are fundamentally superficial, thus no one will ever give that first answer.

Actually, that’s not true – I know one person who said that they are the first variety and it was one of the most fascinating conversations I have ever had. But that is the exception and not the rule.

Anyway, I think I reached an epiphany this summer. When I am completely honest with myself, I think I’m a person that prefers a lot of friendships. Actually, maybe that’s strictly not true. There have been situations in my life where my sphere of friends was really limited and those have been some of the best times of my life. What I guess I’m saying is that the way I am now, I can’t help but have the first situation be true in my life.

I think my problem is that I always feel guilty about things. Once I know a person, I feel guilty in ever letting them down or something. Like not maintaining the relationship. My problem now is that I know a fair amount of people, so it’s too exhausting. But I can’t help it. For example, I haven’t seen Kathy Yung in a while and I feel a little bad about that. So you know, I want to talk to her sometime. Also Mark Hong; I haven’t talked to him in a while and I feel bad about that. Same for Minho and James. Etc. Anyway, the end result is that I kind of semi-keep in touch with a lot of people but don’t really get into their lives. Maybe that is superficial. But I just can’t help it. You know, limiting yourself in terms of people means (to me) willingly and consciously not caring about people. I don’t know; I’m lazy and not really good at loving people but I can’t do that either. So that’s the situation I’m in.

The thing is, I realized that makes me happy. Yeah, maybe I don’t have the closest friends in the world, but for some reason I’m happy about things. Maybe I am superficial and don’t even want intimacy in relationships. I don’t know. But regardless, it doesn’t really bother me and I’m cool with the way things are. Why am I writing this. I don’t know.

And there’s this issue of cliqueishness. It’s very odd to me how Christian fellowships always have this more difficult standard. Actually, it’s a good thing, but it’s difficult nonetheless. Like if Christians only hang out with other Christians, it bothers people a lot. But when I really look around, whenever I see groups that are associated with some activity, they spend a heck of a lot of time hanging out with just themselves. E.g. the Stanford swim team / Water Polo, who even all live together. In fact any sport. Or frat. Or whatever. And no one really seems to care about that a whole lot. But when Christians do it, there seems to be a whole ruckus about it. Which again is probably right, as we’re held to a higher standard, but it’s just harder than I think people realize.

I mean, people say, yeah we shouldn’t hang out with only ourselves as if that’s an easy thing to do. Like somehow, magically it just takes a simple decision on our parts and then suddenly we’re not “cliqueish” anymore. Whataver. I mean, the reason that every group tends to stick together is because there’s something about doing activities together that bonds people together. Am I wrong about this? Like just doing something as a group makes the group more cohesive. Maybe it’s just spending the time together. Whatever it is, it happens. In fact, I think it’s really hard to be friends without having some kind of common activity that you do together. It’s just hard. Like a fellowship or something.

Anyway, it’s totally easy and natural that we hang out with the people we do activities with. That’s just something that seems to happen. In terms of Christian fellowships, that’s how we get cliqueish; like with all other activities, this easy spending time with one another comes at the expense of spending time with other people.

Anyway, how hard is it to avoid this? How do you really be friends with people you’re not really in a common activity with? I think it’s really hard. I mean really hard. You gotta sacrifice something. Either it’s involvement with the fellowship or the quality of that outside friendship. At least for me. I don’t know, I forgot what I was trying to say. But I think when people say that we gotta be better friends with our non-Christian acquaintances that they don’t really acknowledge how difficult it is. Not that it’s impossible or that it is bad; it’s just a pretty difficult thing.

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