Authenticity means being true to your beliefs, not being being true to your feelings.

I get bothered when I don’t write about spiritual stuff on my page. It’s not that I feel some obligation to. It’s more, I dunno. I feel like if my walk is doing well, then I’d naturally be thinking about spiritual stuff, and it would just kind of come out on this (stupid) page naturally, you know? It’s like an indication of something. So when that stuff isn’t here, I dunno, I feel like things aren’t right.

Uh, no idea why I wrote that. I dunno, just, I haven’t written about the Bible study I’m in at all, but it’s pretty much been the only thing that’s kept me spiritually sane the past few months. It regularly rocks my world. Seriously, this page should just be “what I learned in Bible study”. But anyways.

So the latest thing to rock my world. Adrian just said something that really stuck with I think all of us, the quote above. I dunno, it’s just deep to me. Sometimes (often) I think if I’m not being true to how I feel I’m not being “real”. But then, my beliefs and my feelings frequently conflict, and in being real to my feelings, I’m being untrue to my beliefs. And true authenticity lies in being true to your beliefs. That’s deep.

I dunno, sometimes you may have heard me say stuff like I’m not good at being fake, and that’s something I’ve said with pride. Meaning, if I don’t like someone, it’s hard for me to hide it, and I act accordingly. I’ve been proud because I thought I was keeping it real. But I realized that’s totally wrong. I may be true to my feelings, but it’s totally out of line with what I say I believe, in loving one another. And I’ve chosen to be true to what’s less important. Not good.

Anyway, yeah, it was insightful to me at least. I’ll try to share other stuff I’ve learned in Bible study from time to time, even if you don’t care.

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