In some ways I regret going to Stanford. No, regret is the wrong word. It’s more, I struggle with certain things because I went there. Like, I’ve been struggling a bit with a sense of entitlement in a worldly sense. I see people all around me achieving worldly success and wealth, and I think, hey, I deserve that. Why do I deserve that? I don’t deserve anything. But when that’s what everyone around you cares about, it’s hard not to be affected. I dunno, it’s destroying my soul.

I imagine it must be even harder for doctors or lawyers or people who actually work hard. You can go into something with the purest of intentions, but when it involves a lot of hard work and sacrifice, somewhere along the line, it must be hard not to start feeling that you’re entitled to things for yourself, that you deserve a little something for what you’ve done. Or maybe it’s not hard, I dunno, maybe it would just be me.

At any rate, like I mentioned before, that Matt Redman song Breathing The Breath has been really speaking to me, and this is a big reason why. Just a reminder that everything we have is God’s. We don’t give anything to Him, we give back to Him. I’ve been getting caught up in getting what I “deserve” and I needed that reminder. Anyway, lyrics:

Breathing The Breath

Matt Redman

We have nothing to give
That didn’t first come from Your hands
We have nothing to offer You
Which You did not provide
Every good, perfect gift comes from
Your kind and gracious heart
And all we do is give back to You
What always has been Yours

Lord, we’re breathing the breath
That You gave us to breathe
To worship You, to worship You
And we’re singing these songs
With the very same breath
To worship You, to worship You

Who has given to You
That it should be paid back to him?
Who has given to You
As if You needed anything?
From You, and to You, and through You
Come all things, O Lord
And all we do is give back to You
What always has been Yours

We are breathing the breath
That You gave us to breathe

Good stuffs.